No One Left Behind
by Eleneri
Summary: Part of the Rose Shepard continuity, prequel to Believability; Shepard has been under arrest for months, fighting to prepare the Alliance for the Reapers. When the invasion of Earth finally hits, two men fight to rejoin her in the wreckage of Vancouver. This is an expanded slightly AU exploration of the first scenes of Mass Effect 3, told from James and Kaidan's points of view.
1. Chapter 1

Standard Disclaimer: All characters, places, etc. are property of Bioware. Original characters belong to me.

* * *

Author's Note: As I have only just completed Mass Effect 1, I really have no standing to be writing this (I have, however, seen a lot of youtube videos on the beginning of ME3). But this story sprang from a single line that came to mind, Kaidan saying he wasn't leaving Shepard behind again. When I started it, this was a drabble. However, the editing process was... um... yeah. Not so much drabble any more...

* * *

**_Alliance Central Command Headquarters_**

**_Vancouver, Canada_**

**_Courtroom Access hallway_**

* * *

**_James_**

Lieutenant James Vega had never planned on crossing the line of professionalism he'd always adhered to. He blamed Shepard.

He'd been assigned as her guard dog six months ago today. She'd stayed "just an assignment" for all of two days; after that, they'd started on the odd, slippery slope to friendship, almost against their collective wills.

James was an honest man; Shepard was quiet, but strongwilled as hell, she was gorgeous with that dark hair, pale gold-dust skin and vaguely almond-shaped dark eyes, and falling for her would have been easier than breathing. He wasn't entirely certain he hadn't _actually_ fallen a little in love with her at all - hell, maybe there was something there between them, maybe there wasn't. There were nights when he would have given his left arm to find out for certain, to take that little step closer, to inhabit the rarified air scented with her skin and shampoo and finally know what it was to touch her. Yeah, there were some nights...

But James knew damn well that Shepard needed a friend a lot more than she needed a lover. In any case, it would have been impossible for him, given their circumstances, to be that lover without the creepy overtones of broken trust and a captor/captive relationship. So he'd stayed her friend. God knew, Shepard deserved at least one friend.

It was a Friday, and Admiral Anderson sent him to get Shepard. It wasn't unusual for the brass to pull her out of her solitary cage for a short hop. When he knocked on her door, James made very sure to pay her the respect she was owed. He called her commander. When she reminded him he shouldn't, he saluted again, just so she'd get the idea he was serious. So she'd know he was on her side. When she laughed, he felt a warm glow in his chest. War on or not - and Centcom couldn't seem to get its collective head out of its ass long enough to figure out which one it was - he'd made his friend laugh. It was shaping up to be a good day.

This time, though, Admiral Anderson met up with them almost immediately instead of waiting in the interrogation rooms like he usually did. Vega trailed his charge on the way to the Defense Committee, keeping a respectful distance from the admiral and Shepard when they talked, since he'd technically been there as a glorified guard dog. Shows what the Alliance brass knew. He wasn't a guard dog, he was a marine. Shepard was a marine. They stuck together. If he wanted to be more, well... Vega was used to wanting things he couldn't have.

A uniformed aide approached Anderson and beckoned the admiral in toward the Defense Committee's sanctum santorum. She didn't so much as look at the disgraced commander, as if she were afraid Shepard's pariah status - or her imagined insanity, since she kept insisting that a race of giant sentient machines were coming to wipe out all life in the galaxy - were contagious. James bristled. _Fucking hell_. Did nobody remember the Battle of the Citadel anymore? After all Shepard had done, getting disrespected by a person who'd probably never seen anything more dangerous than the inside of a badly-organized file cabinet or more nightmare-inducing than a government form was not gonna happen. Not on Jimmy Vega's watch.

"Hey, Shepard." When the commander turned, he gripped her hand, the contact making him too aware that for all her inner steel and her height, she was still wand-slender and half his weight. "Good luck in there. I know you'll give 'em hell."

Shepard was smiling that little quiet smile she got sometimes, and she was smiling at _him _with warmth and camaraderie_,_ and that was beyond great... That warm glow was in his chest again, and he had no idea of what he was supposed to do about it, or even if he should do anything about it. He just knew he liked it.

"Shepard."

A husky voice James had never heard before, halfway down the tenor scale and full of a quiet strength, sounded out near where Anderson was standing. Shepard stiffened as soon as she heard her name called; James saw the shock bloom in her eyes in that split second before she covered it. Shepard was... what? Rattled? in six months, he'd never seen her look like that. _What the fuck?_

James put himself firmly back in guard dog mode, standing silently off to the side as the officers conferred. He didn't really listen in so much as not ignore it when he could hear every third word they spoke; it was enough to confirm that Shepard did indeed know this new officer. That she was glad she'd bumped into him. She called him Kaidan. Not Major._ Kaidan._

James' chest began to burn, just a little.

When the committee aide ushered Anderson and Shepard toward the closed chamber, James just stood where he was. Technically, he hadn't been dismissed and Shepard was his duty station, so he should probably stay right here. For when Anderson called him to bring the commander back to solitary. Or Shepard needed a friend.

So it was as her _friend_ that he leaned slightly closer to the major, who'd apparently already finished his business with the Defense Committee. He tried not to loom too much, but he didn't try too hard. "Sir? You know the commander?"

The other man watched Admiral Anderson - _watched Shepard_, James' suspicious mind insisted - vanish behind the doors of the committee chamber. "I used to." He waited a beat before turning intelligent dark eyes on the younger man. Unlike most officers, or even most enlisteds, this man didn't seem to feel the need to either back up to gain space, or posture to make sure the larger and more muscular James knew who was alpha dog here. "Lieutenant Vega, right?"

James fought the completely annoying urge to salute. The only other people who made him feel like that were Admiral Anderson and Shepard herself. "Yes, sir."

"I've read your file, Vega. You do good work. Very good work. You should be proud of Fehl Prime."

James had pegged the higher-ranked officer as by the book type on first glance; what happened on Fehl Prime had hardly been textbook, so the observation came as something of a surprise. Equally surprising was the knowledge that this man knew him, knew enough to pull his file. "Is there a reason you looked into my record, sir?"

"Yes." The major stepped out of the way of the people coming and going with such frenetic activity in the hall. "Let's talk, Lieutenant."

They found a relatively quieter spot down the hallway off the main courtroom access. Alenko leaned one shoulder against the wide, reinforced window; James opted for maintaining a relatively rigid posture. He wasn't about to risk getting a black mark in his so-called impressive file by being accused of insubordination.

When the major spoke, his voice was carefully neutral, but to a seasoned card sharp like Vega, the tone was too flat, too casual. "What's your current assignment, soldier?"

"Something tells me you already know, sir."

"Well, you'd be right. I also noticed that you called Shepard "Commander"." The other man paused, and there was a challenge in those dark eyes. "You know she's been relieved of duty."

_Oh, now it's on._ Vega let himself light his considerable temper. "With all due respect, Major, the commander deserves all the respect I can give her, and more. The Alliance brass can go screw itself."

He got the distinct impression that, although the Major didn't actually laugh, he really wanted to. He could almost see his lips twitch. "Probably not a good thing to say to someone who's reasonably up there in the Alliance brass, soldier."

"Probably not, sir. But you're not some pencil-pushing _cabron_, are you? I just placed your name. You're Major Kaidan Alenko. You were with Shepard on the _Normandy _SR1. You helped stop Saren Arterius, saved the Citadel and the Council."

Alenko gave him a slight nod. "And you're Lieutenant James Vega, who, when not serving with distinction on Fehl Prime, took out a gang of Batarians on Omega with a broken vid screen and a knife when they called for Shepard's head on a pike. Now, since we've established who we both are..." The major's voice deepened with command. "Tell me about the commander."

James fought a hot flare of jealousy, somewhat unexpected and definitely out of place. He wasn't sure he cared. "I'd rather not. Sir. If you were really with her, you'd know all you need to about the commander."

Alenko actually smiled at that, but this time the expression didn't reach his eyes. "She hasn't lost her touch, then. She almost always has that effect on people. Well, unless they're complete rat bastards." There was a haunted look on the major's face for a split second that James didn't think he was supposed to see, before he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Is she sleeping? Eating?"

James debated with himself for a couple of seconds. Realistically, Alenko could probably just read the daily logs of Shepard's captivity - sorry, _house arrest -_ and find out what he wanted to know. But he prided himself on being a smart guy, and knew damn well that the major, whatever his motivations, wasn't after data. He was after impressions. "The commander eats. Some. More if I cook for her. Doesn't really sleep worth a damn, though. Keeps waking up. Nightmares." He hesitated, hovering on the cusp of honesty, then decided to go for it, partly because he found himself wanting to hurt this man who'd put that look on Shepard's face. "She seems sad. Spends a lot of time praying. Lot of time working martial drills in her cell. The guards always come around for that one, watching the security feeds. They say it's because they want to make sure she's not trying to escape, but I know they're just being assholes." James tactfully left out that he'd personally pounded the man who'd made some crude comments about Shepard's flexibility. He hadn't even gotten written up about it; he figured he had Anderson to thank for that. "She spends a lot more time reading now that they're letting her have some material. Tactical assessments. Some field reports when they want her to consult. They won't let her have her instruments. She seemed to take it pretty hard when they told her they hadn't found her flute with her other gear when they confiscated everything from the_ Normandy_."

James' gut hunch played out nicely when the major's eyes closed briefly. _ Yeah, update my ass, Alenko. This is personal. Good. We're on the same page._ "With respect, Major, the committee is treating the commander like a trained monkey. The lady saved the heart of galactic civilization, and instead of listening to her, they're keeping her in a cage. They trot her out and make her dance every once in a while - more like she lets them make her - and when she tells them something they don't like or don't want to believe, they tell me to stuff her back in. It's not right. Sir."

Alenko was really looking at him now. James suddenly realized that the smarts he'd seen in the major's eyes earlier had only really been the tip of the iceberg, because right now, that intelligence was dialed up and focused like a full-bore mass accelerator cannon, and James had the disquieting notion that the man could see inside him and could pull every secret from his mind if he really wanted to. Between that and the major's quiet but undeniably forceful personality, James felt a lot like he'd just been shoved naked and unarmed into a cage match with an alpha wolf.

"Lieutenant. I'm going to ask this one time," Alenko said softly. "Just one time. And I want an honest answer. If you lie to me, I will know it." The older man took two paces forward, until he was well within James' space. The younger marine was bigger, stronger... and he actually felt threatened by the wolf he saw in Kaidan Alenko's eyes. "If you had to choose between Shepard or the Alliance," Alenko asked quietly, tension thrumming between them thick enough that the hairs rose on the back of James' neck, "who would you back?"

James set his jaw, well aware that he was literally tossing his entire career, everything he'd worked for, everything he'd made of himself after a childhood of pure crap, down the shitter with this single answer. Funny, he didn't care as much as he should. Maybe the commander had changed him, or maybe he was just tired of politics getting good people screwed. He straightened, and met the other man's stare with a steady gaze of his own. "I'm with the Commander."

"Hmm." The major stepped back, and he smiled, just a little. The tension flowed out of the area like air from a ruptured balloon. "I hope that's the right answer."

James felt a little dizzy at the sudden change, like he'd just narrowly missed a collision with a Mako. "Major? What... Wait." He peered out the massive window. "What the hell's wrong with the sky?"

Both men looked out the window at the unnaturally darkening sky. The major put one hand up against the glass. "What the - "

A deafening, inhuman shriek cut through the air, sending sonic tremors through the floor. Outside, the water in the bay whipped up into a frenzy of whitecaps. "What the hell?" James muttered.

Red lightning twisted through the clouds, and then black tentacles stabbed through the atmospheric cover, reaching down for the earth like a set of marauding fingers. A long, black body followed, looking for all the world like a giant, sleekly mechanical squid. A red light pulsed balefully at the center of the thing, crackling and building.

"Oh my God," James heard the major whisper roughly. "Get to cover!"

The two men sprinted away from the window just as the massive energy pulse touched down in the bay, strafing right for the defense committee chambers. A massive explosion shook the complex. Shattered light fixtures sprayed glass around him as James looked down the hallway long enough to see the shockwave from that beam rolling up from the committee chambers toward him. It tore through the corridor, carrying a tide of desks, debris, and bodies, He didn't have nearly enough time to get to cover, knew there wasn't any cover to be had in this bare hallway, not from the likes of that blast. He ducked instinctively, bracing for the impact.

There was a hum that he heard more in his bones than his ears, a firm static flash across his skin, a sense that he was standing at ground zero of a lightning strike... and the impact he was waiting for never came.

James looked up, and saw the entire world washed in blue.

Major Alenko stood braced in front of him, arms raised in the mnemnonic for a barrier, eezo energy flaring in a massive corona around him as he channelled it into a protective dome that stood between them and everything the blast threw at it.

"_Madre de Dios_," James muttered.


	2. Chapter 2

_Alliance Central Command_

_Vancouver, Canada_

_Five minutes into the Reaper attack_

* * *

_Kaidan_

His amp humming and heating at the base of his skull, Kaidan watched the debris pile up against his barrier in a messy drift of shrapnel, body parts, and chunked masonry. His stomach clenched, but he kept his voice calm, even if he sounded a little gritty. "You okay, Vega?"

"Uh, yeah. Sir." He could hear the burly marine stirring behind him. "Just uh... surprised."

"This is Admiral Anderson," the familiar bass voice boomed on the wide-band channel. "Report in. Anybody?"

Kaidan tabbed his comm implant with one hand, maintaining his barrier with the other. "Admiral? Admiral Anderson!"

"Major Alenko, is that you?" Anderson's deep voice boomed into Kaidan's head, mixing with the exertion of massive biotics use and triggering the beginnings of a headache. "I can't raise the _Normandy_. You'll have to contact them. We'll meet you at the landing zone. Anderson out." The transmission cut off abruptly.

_We'll meet you_. Kaidan hung onto that phrase. Anderson was bringing other people with him. He had to believe Shepard was one of them. Had to. "Come on, Vega. Playtime's over," he said roughly. "We're moving."

"We're not waiting for orders?"

"You heard Anderson, didn't you? That sure as hell sounded like orders to me."

The lieutenant looked around. "All right. But what about all this crap we got piled around us? Closest way out to where the _Normandy_'s docked would be through that wall." He pointed at the hole blasted into the windows they'd stood by not five minutes ago. The report of Reaper weapons fire was a dull, pounding bass note in the close distance. "But we try to crawl over that without hardsuits and we're gonna end up in ribbons."

Kaidan let one corner of his mouth quirk up into a slight smile. "So we don't crawl. Might want to shield your eyes." He pulled part of his barrier back slowly, cautiously, not wanting the debris field he'd blocked to come sliding down and bury them. Glass shards tinkled and slid into a drift around his feet as he reformed the energy he'd reclaimed, feeling it burn in his chest, lighting his nerves up... and then threw it out in a solid, very tightly focused shockwave blast that punched a navigable hole through the debris around them. Behind him, his partial barrier still held against most of the rubble.

James nodded. "Okay," he said slowly. "Now we're moving."

O o O

It was heartbreakingly easy to find weapons. They took them off the corpses.

It stunned Kaidan, how many Reaper forces were already on the ground. The CentCom campus was swarming with them, making the two marines fight for every foot they advanced toward the spaceport. Kaidan steadfastly refused to think about what they would do if the _Normandy _wasn't docked. She would be there. She had to be there.

He and James were sprinting for cover, shooting as they went, when Anderson's deep bass voice on the comm cut through the stacatto rasp of weapons fire and Kaidan's own labored breathing. "Major, do you read me? I'm patching in Shepard."

Kaidan almost sagged with relief. _Shepard was with the admiral._ He felt, suddenly, like he could breathe again, and it was the only thing that allowed him to make his report to Anderson. "We're almost to the _Normandy_. I've got Lieutenant Vega with me. We're taking heavy fire." He ducked for cover behind the half-shattered hulk of a cargo container as a Reaper cannibal fired on his position. Next to him, Vega popped up from behind a crumbled wall with uncanny quickness for such a big man, cutting loose a chattering burst from his scavenged assault rifle.

He heard "we're about five minutes out" from the admiral before static scrambled the signal again.

"Where are they?" James shouted.

"Five minutes out. Let's move, lieutenant."

James let out a juicy curse in Spanish, crouching as low as he could to avoid bullets from a second squad of Reapers that had just rounded the corner. "We're pinned, sir."

"The hell we are." Kaidan ignored the spiking of his headache that warned that it would turn into a full-on migraine if not treated damn fast and formed a singularity with one hand. He nodded toward a battered shuttle that had been set down hard, but not destroyed. It was about three hundred feet away. "You think that shuttle over there is flightworthy?"

"Hell, major, I think we should go find out." James popped a new heat sink into his rifle. "Light 'er up."

Eezo crackling in a blue surge that pulsed in time with his heartbat, Kaidan lobbed the singularity at the midpoint between the enemy groups. The ones on the fringes of the sing struggled against the forces pulling at them. Some were still able to line up a clear shot. Those closer to the event horizon windmilled futilely, unable to bring their weapons to bear properly.

"Pinata time, assholes!" James' deep laughter was punctuated by the staccato cadence of gunfire. Blood and unidentifiable biological bits floated like grotesque confetti in the gravity well. "Aw, no candy?"

Kaidan picked off the stragglers on the edges of the combat groups. The rifle felt hot in his hands, the thud of recoil familiar and somehow soothing, even as it made his head throb. "Vega, you're really starting to worry me."

"Good. Then it's mutual, Major biotic god."

Kaidan's laugh was hoarse and low. "Shepard always told me there's only one God."

"Yeah, I heard that, too. Let's hope He's feeling like giving us a break and making that shuttle operational."

"Run for it, lieutenant. I got your six."

They sprinted past the gory remains of the Reapers they'd killed, some still floating in the grip of Kaidan's dying singularity, and entered the shuttle with more haste than grace. Kaidan headed for the cockpit immediately. "Strap in, Vega."

"Is it operational?"

Kaidan's hands were flying over the shuttle's interfaces and controls, synching them with his omnitool, as he hotwired the shuttle with an ease that made the other marine's eyebrows shoot upward. "Yeah. I can't believe... yeah. Huh." He glanced at James. "Guess He was feeling merciful."

James rolled a look upwards at the ceiling. "Thanks. Um... amen?"

Kaidan engaged the drive systems and felt the shuttle lift a little, wobble a few feet above the pockmarked concrete. "Come on... come on, baby," he crooned. "Work with me, darlin'."

"Hell, tell her I'll buy her a beer and kiss her if it makes her actually take off, Major." James strapped into one of the troop seats in the shuttle's battlescarred midsection. "No... hey! Major Alenko! Don't lift yet! We got a friendly coming in!"

Kaidan wrestled with the controls, trying to get a feel for how much he could coax out of the battered ship. "Can we extract safely?"

"Hell, yeah!" James was already out of his seat and moving to the shuttle's open side. He wrapped one arm in the remains of a safety belt that was still attached to the wall near the door and leaned out. "Come on, Esteban!" The roared comment was accompanied by the equally earsplitting roar of automatic fire. "Move your ass, dammit!"

Kaidan felt the shuttle dip as James leaned out precariously, holding out his hand to the man in Alliance blues who was, indeed, running along the ground. The shuttle wobbled on her thrusters as the man leaped, and James hauled him aboard. Kaidan skimmed the shuttle sideways to meet the charging husks that had been chasing the man with the craft's nose, then boosted the thrusters to gain altitude as fast as he dared. "We've got hostiles on us!"

"Shit!" There was a clatter, then a thud in the main compartment. "OK, we're armed. They coming around?"

Kaidan activated the forward optics and bared his teeth in a grimace at the husk's mutilated face. It skittered across the shuttle canopy like an oversized cybernetic roach, heading for the gaping hole where the door used to be. "Incoming!"

"We got this, Major!" The grating scream of the husks filled the shuttle for a second before being answered by the booming report of gunfire and the concussive counterpoint notes of a shotgun being put to good use. Kaidan grimaced in earnest. His migraine was ramping up too quickly, greasy waves of nausea coming on with the tense, tight feeling of an overclocked amp, and he couldn't afford to let up his concentration. The skies were full of hazards, not the least of which were the Reapers themselves.

"Husks are cleared, sir." A stranger swung into the shuttle's copilot seat. "Mr. Vega is securing the weapons and himself."

"You all right, soldier?"

"Right enough, sir. But you aren't." Suddenly, the shuttle wasn't responding to Kaidan's commands, and he felt a sharp flare of panic.

The shuttle didn't start an uncontrolled plummet; it actually stabilized, and Kaidan realized the other man had taken over control. Relief had him closing his eyes for a split second. "I hope you know what you're doing," he said roughly.

"Don't worry, Major. I'm a pilot. Let me handle this bird." The newcomer's voice gentled. "From what Mr. Vega was telling me, you've pulled quite enough miracles today."

"Not enough," Kaidan gritted. He looked to the right, at the stranger in the copilot's chair. He had lieutenant's bars attached to his uniform, and searing blue eyes in a handsome, even-featured face. It was the calm competency in those eyes that had Kaidan leaning back in his chair. "All right, lieutenant. Tell me you know where the _Normandy_ is drydocked."

"She's not, sir. Lieutenant Moreau lifted her as soon as we saw the attack hit CentCom. But I know how to find her." The officer performed some fancy maneuvering that Kaidan knew shouldn't be possible in a shuttle, especially a damaged one. "Mr. Vega, when you can get up here, bring up that medkit under the locker. The major needs medical attention."

The familiar sound of creative Spanish cursing sounded a little more muffled than usual. Or maybe it was because the beat of Kaidan's blood in his ears was blocking the sound. "What's your name, lieutenant?"

"Cortez, sir."

"Cortez, find the _Normandy_. We've got an admiral to extract."

"And Lola." James was suddenly looming in the cockpit entrance, medkit in one large hand. "Shit, Major, you look like... well... shit."

"Mr. Vega, will you kindly shut up and give the man something? I've never seen anyone turn that color and live."

Kaidan wanted to laugh, but didn't. He was afraid his brain would slop out his ears if he did. "You must not be biotic, then."

"Oh, man, L2, huh?" Vega's deep voice held a bit of sympathy. "I heard stories. No wonder you were pulling all that hardcore stuff." There was the sting of a hypodermic in his arm. Kaidan didn't even have time to wince. "Hope this helps."

"I hope it helps fast," Cortez said calmly. "Hang on. We've got company."

Kaidan opened his eyes and almost wished he hadn't; a Reaper was standing in the harbor, exchanging fire with an impossibly low-flying dreadnaught. The ship must have been drydocked and had been caught mid-lift. Red collision warnings and broadcast redlined systems readings scrolled across the shuttle's instrumentation. "Cortez... That dreadnaught is going to - "

"Hang on, please," was the pilot's only response, and Kaidan double-checked his safety harness a split second before Cortez made the shuttle dance in a way that the major had only seen Joker manage on the original _Normandy_. He heard Vega swear again, and reflexively grabbed onto the larger man's hand to keep him from flying out of the cockpit. The world spun, either from the crazy flying or the drugs or the headache, or some evil combination of all three, but Kaidan refused to let go of Vega, and he refused to throw up. He was going to keep it together, and he was going to find Shepard.

_Shepard. We're coming. Hang on, wherever you are. _

The shuttle's mad dance ceased as Cortez settled for flat-out fleeing the area of engagement, the supersonic boom of the explosion that killed the larger Alliance craft rattling everything. "I think we're clear for a moment. Major, can you put out a hail on this frequency?" Cortez rattled off a comm protocol. Kaidan felt a pang at knowing that he had to be told how to contact a ship that had once been more familiar to him than his own room.

Gritting his teeth, he keyed in the comm protocol. "Alliance shuttle _Tiderium _to _Normandy_! Joker, do you read?"

"I know that voice, and we're a little busy right now, Alenko." Joker sounded annoyed. "Something about husks trying to climb into my airlock and Reapers giving us the big red evil eye. _Normandy_ doesn't like it when strange men grope her. Or when she gets benched because CentCom gets a bug up their collective asses."

"Mr. Moreau, cut the crap. We need to rendezvous." Cortez' voice was sharper than Kaidan had yet heard it.

"Cortez, that you? Hell, _you_ I'll pick up. What are you in?"

"It used to be a shuttle. Now, we can probably use it for a planter, but somehow it's still flying. Send coordinates."

"Roger that. Meet me halfway." A series of coordinates appeared on the holographic interface. "See if you can dump Major Self-Righteous before you come aboard. We don't need the dead weight." The transmission cut out abruptly.

Cortez' lips twisted as if he was trying not to smile. "I see you and Mr. Moreau are good friends."

The pounding in Kaidan's head had subsided enough for him to function. He rubbed a hand across his face. "We used to be."

"You say that a lot, Major," Vega put in, leaning on Cortez' seatback. "How's your head?"

"In the game." Kaidan felt cold determination slide over him, banishing his migraine to the realm of _keeps me from helping Shepard, so it can go to hell_. "Cortez, make that rendezvous as fast as you can. We need to get our people out of this clusterfuck of an engagement."

"Aye, sir. ETA _Normandy_ one minute."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Remains of Alliance CentCom campus**_

_**Vancouver, Canada**_

_**1 hour after the start of the Reaper attack on Earth**_

_**Aboard the SSV Normandy**_

* * *

_**Kaidan**_

As soon as Cortez landed the battered _Tiderium_ in the _Normandy_'s shuttle bay, Kaidan ran for the cockpit, his combat boots thudding on the deckplates. Joker was alone in the cockpit, managing more holographic flight interfaces than any single person should be able to. "Should I just say thank you now, or wait until we're clear?" Kaidan rasped, standing awkwardly behind the pilot's seat.

"I'd rather you threw yourself out the airlock, you self-righteous ass, but I'll take the thanks, as long as you promise to space yourself once we breach atmo." Joker's voice might have been tight, but his hands moved over his instruments like lightning. A less-than-pleasant smirk twisted his bearded face as he looked over his shoulder at his former friend. "Now, you wanna go on and tell me to get outta here as fast as I can? Because I've already planned out how to tell you to kiss my ass, and I'd like to get to it sooner rather than later. Sir."

Kaidan controlled his surge of frustration. Joker's snarking could wait, but the mission couldn't. "Quit giving me shit and get us to the landing zone ASAP. We're extracting Anderson."

Joker snarled at him. "I'm not leaving without Shepard."

The pounding in Kaidan's head was a dulled roar, but it was nowhere near gone, and his temper was already frayed. "You think you're the only one, Moreau?" he snapped. "Last I heard, Shepard's with Anderson. If she's not, then I'll damn well find her." Flickers of biotic discharge lit his eyes, betraying his emotional state despite the rigidly controlled expression he wore. "Now, are you going to do your fucking job, or do I have to haul Cortez up here to replace you and relieve you of duty?"

Joker blinked, a speculative look crossing his face, but started altering his flight calculations, checking the unforgiving calculus of mass and thrust versus gravity and collision variables with consummate skill. "Well, now... Thought the brass might have promoted you out of your little inappropriate emotional attachment, but apparently, I was wrong."

"Yeah. You were." Grim-faced, Kaidan braced himself on a seatback as the _Normandy _turned her considerable power toward kicking the bonds of gravity squarely in the balls. "ETA to the landing zone?"

"Few minutes, maybe." Hands moving across the holographic helm display with deceptive ease, Joker casually rolled the ship across the blasted landscape, dodging fire as he flew. "More if our ugly buddies upstairs insist on sending me dance partners."

In spite of everything, Kaidan found himself smiling. It was a small smile, and it made his head hurt more, but it was there. It felt good to hear Joker's familiar snark again, even though the pilot was still righteously pissed at him over what happened on Horizon. "You were always the better dancer, Joker."

"Nice to know you remember that. Major."

The _Normandy_'s communications array came alive in a burst of static. "_Normandy_? This is Anderson. Do you read?"

His scrap of humor fading immediately, Kaidan leaned over the comm. A muscle in his jaw worked tensely. "Admiral! What's your location?"

"By a downed gunship in the harbor." Anderson's deep voice warped with the interference cluttering the line. "I'm activating its distress beacon. Send support - we've got wounded down here!"

Kaidan felt all the blood in his body drain into his feet when Anderson reported wounded just before the line broke again. Clenching the seatback in a white-knuckled grip, he looked up, only to see Joker watching him. "What?"

For once, Joker looked dead serious. "Does she know?"

"That I loved her?"

Joker sneered at him. "That you still do, asshole."

Kaidan closed his eyes. "Shut up and fly, Moreau."

"Fine. Ignore me. Won't change anything. You're still the most obvious lovesick ass on the _Normandy_." Joker studied his holographic instrumentation with a flat, professional gaze. "I've got a lock on that beacon. We're approaching - _shit_! Here we go again! Hang on!" The _Normandy _slewed gracefully, tracer fire arcing past her nose, and her weapons arrays roared a response.

Within a minute, Joker was reporting, "We're at the LZ. Whoa! Will ya look at that? Looks like the commander is pulling one of her patented one-woman stands against overwhelming odds again." The helmsman grinned, his teeth flashing whitely and his green eyes gleaming underneath the brim of his cap. "I've always loved backing her up on those. Ah, just like old times. Minus the volcanoes, naturally."

Joker triggered the comm burst and a pair of torpedoes simultaneously, evaporating the Reaper squad that was advancing on Shepard and Anderson, along with a good chunk of the landing zone. "Calvary has arrived!" The _Normandy_ swooped above the chaos, wheeling gracefully over the harbor as she maneuvered into a pickup position.

"Get us down there, Joker!" Kaidan was running flat out for the cargo bay before he even finished giving the order.

Vega was hot on his heels, moving with surprising speed for all his muscle. "Major! Maybe you should suit up?"

"Just give me a rifle, Vega." He caught the rifle the bigger man threw him on the fly. His flat, dark gaze lasered around the area, lighting on a private standing bewildered by the equipment lockers. "You!" The marine snapped to attention. "You're armored. Get armed and come with me."

Kaidan barrelled into the cargo bay just as Joker lowered the personnel ramp. The smeary sunlight burst into the area, blinding him for a second, and when he could see again, he felt his heart twist in his chest.

A slender figure in battlestained combats raced across the destroyed landing zone toward the_ Normandy_, hurtling obstacles with an athletic ease that belied six months of house arrest. Almost absently, Kaidan fired on a husk that was charging at her; he couldn't have looked away from her if he'd wanted to. _Come on, come _o_n... You can make it..._

Shepard took the destroyed walkway at a speed that surprised him but probably shouldn't have, and didn't even hesitate to leap the ten foot gap between the Normandy's ramp and the nearest solid ground. She stumbled upon landing; Kaidan grabbed her outstretched arm before she could actually tumble, pulling her onto firm footing on the personnel ramp. Biotic static crackled around their clasped hands for a split second, racing over their skin. Startled, Shepard looked at him, her dark eyes wide for a split second before her expression shuttered.

"Welcome aboard, Shepard." He had time for a curt nod before he sighted down his rifle at enemy combatants that were approaching where Anderson still stood on the twisted steel remains of the walkway. As welcomes went, it was brisk, military, traditional, and impersonal.

Controlled.

Very carefully, Kadain prowled across the deck and shot another Reaper as Shepard tried to coax Anderson aboard, because he was a man who prided himself on self-control, and the last time he'd lost sight of that, he'd ripped enough of a hole in Shepard that even the noncombatant brittle-boned Joker was ready to take him on.

He, of all people, should have known better. He'd known for years what loss of control could lead to.

_Rahna clutched her arm, screaming. Vyrnnus hurt Rahna. He **hurt her**_._ A military-issue talon split his lip, only his lip, because he'd jerked back out of reflex. He couldn't avoid the second slice, the one that tore open his side where he wasn't able to generate a barrier fast enough. Not entirely. The kick to his wounded side was a nova of fire across his torso. The pain was enormous, stabbing - broken ribs, probably. Vyrnnus' face was too close, his grip too strong. Kaidan felt a surge of panic, then... ice. Nothing but ice. The mnemnonic for barrier - an arm across the chest. Eezo surged through him, mixed with adrenaline. Vyrnnus staggered back a step, but the distance was enough, and Kaidan put everything he had into a kick. The dictates of Jump Zero's martial arts trainer flashed through his head; your legs are usually longer than their arms. Use that._

_ Kaidan used his training, used the hate for Vyrnnus burning in his chest, used the foreign element bonded to his nervous system, used everything. Vyrnnus hurt someone he loved. It was more than self-defense. It was defense of someone helpless. It was protecting someone he cared about._

Kaidan felt the tidal surges of his migraine beat at the base of his skull, heating his blood and twisting his gut. Eidetic memory was not a friend at that moment, images triggered by the misfiring neurons in his brain sliding through his mind even as his brain tried its best to explode out of his skull.

_Dark brown eyes in a strong-featured face, pupils dialated with shock as he tore into her, ripping Shepard open with words because she was there, but she wasn't. Cerberus had destroyed so much, and now they were even destroying his memory of Shepard. He hated them for taking her from him again._

But did they?

Kaidan fought off the swimming nausea and the memories long enough to hear Shepard swear to come back for Anderson, to hear Anderson order them to the Citadel for help. He felt the thrum of the _Normandy_ lifting through the soles of his boots, at once familiar and not, and felt that same spacey sense of disorientation that he felt on Horizon. Muscle memory and habit, not a clear directive, caused Kaidan to step back and reclip his rifle.

"Major." James was at his elbow. "We need to get you to medical. Doc needs to look at you."

"Not yet." Kaidan's voice rasped in his throat and caused a thrum of agony to spike in his head. "I'm not done yet."

Shepard was standing alone at the edge of the bay, face a carved mask of despair as she watched an escaping shuttle explode in a shower of blood and metal. Kaidan had a sudden flash of Noveria, of Shepard sitting in the snow, her hand steady on her gun, blank pain on her face. He wasn't leaving the cargo bay without her, not even if his head erupted.

"Joker. Close the bay doors."

"Aye-aye, Major. Heading?"

"The Citadel, all speed." Kaidan swayed on his feet as his stomach and his brain matter made a simultaneous bid for evacuation.

"OK, Major, time's up." Vega put one massive hand on his shoulder and steered him toward the elevator. "You're going to Medical. Come on, Lola, you too."

Shepard turned on him. The look on her face made the lieutenant back up a step. "You giving me orders, Lieutenant?"

"Me?" James somehow managed to look big, macho, and completely innocent, all at the same time. "Naw. It's the Major's orders. He's just not one for talking right now. Strong, silent type. You know how it is."

"I can go on my own." With a last look at Kaidan, Shepard strode for the elevator. "You take care of Major Alenko."

James waited until the elevator doors closed before he opened his mouth again. "Commander's pissed off, Major. What'd you do to her?"

Kaidan wanted to laugh. What had he done to her? What had he done to_ them_? "I told her no."

"You said no? To Lola?" James shook his head. "Well, you're still alive, so either she really, really likes you, or you're even scarier than I thought you were." The younger man's large hand tightened on Kaidan's shoulder as he swayed again. "All right, sir. You walking or do I have to get all gentlemanly and carry you?"

"I don't ever remember being that smartass while I was a lieutenant." Kaidan staggered for the elevator.

"Sir. Thank you, sir." James didn't exactly drag the older man into the elevator as soon as the doors opened, but he certainly stuck close. Once the doors closed, James rolled his head on his shoulders. The pop of a vertebrae pierced the quiet. To Kaidan's oversensitive ears, it sounded like a gunshot.

"Major. I know you probably feel like shit, but... I gotta know, and I figure this is the last chance I'll have for some privacy. Why did you ask me who I'd choose? You know, back at CentCom. Before..." James cleared his throat. "You know, before."

The last thing Kaidan wanted to do was talk, but Vega was a good soldier. He deserved the truth. "Had to know whose side you were on. There's been a quiet little rumor that the commander was considered a danger. A liability." Kaidan closed his eyes, partly from pain, partly from disbelief that the Alliance he'd served so faithfully for so many years could even consider "permanently reassigning the liability with the Batarians". If he hadn't had some well-seeded algorhythms in the Alliance's computer systems... If he hadn't been a little too good with picking up patterns... He'd been looking for Cerberus hacks on Anderson's order. Looking for Cerberus moles. He'd found worse. "You were too close to Shepard. I couldn't risk you being part of an attempt against her."

James rolled his shoulders. "If I had been?"

Kaidan looked at him. Just... looked at him. "You'd be dead, LT."


End file.
